An Open Letter from our CEO

My Fellow Gamers-

Many of you may be wondering why Lumpz Media is even a thing. What media organization in their right mind would associate themselves with clowns while simultaneously trying to pass themselves off as an unbiased and trusted entity? Today, I’m here to answer all of these questions and then some.

My entire life, I’ve always felt out of place. I felt everything from awkward to rejected to outright vilified, even around my own family. There were even times that I felt that I was born into the wrong one entirely. Feeling out of control over every aspect of my life, there is one thing I’ve always held onto: my ability to connect to others and make them laugh.

Of course, this translated to multiple visits to the principal’s office in school, and frank admonitions from my family to “fall into line”. Not having a safe harbor to come home to, I would find solace in video games. When you walk around every day feeling like no one understands you or even gives a shit enough to, over time, it gets harder and harder to form meaningful human connections.

This was never the case with video games. Whenever I needed a break, I could always pop in my favorite cartridge and lovingly test my meddle in Castlevania or Super Mario Bros. Over time, I became able to detect the earmarks that define a great game and/or console, such as:

  • Easy-to-understand mechanics,
  • Strikingly sufficient graphics,
  • Memorable music,
  • A strong library to draw from,
  • Hardware that’s reliable, serviceable, and usable.

The products that emphasized these points were the ones who got my money, while ones that did not were avoided, discarded, and/or warned against. With over 20 years of experience and a healthy appreciation for underdogs, I feel ready to provide objective pros and cons for whatever I review. And speaking of underdogs…

Though many may not appreciate the stereotypical appearance of clowns, their overall mission of amusing others is all I’ve ever known. My ability to make people laugh either through a clever joke or simply laughing myself is something I’ve always taken pride in, and will never apologize for.

The more people tell me to drop the clown act, the more I embrace it. If we cannot find joy in what we are at our core, then where? Being beat down by society over and over again has its perks though. It allows for a somewhat silent objectivity, where keen observation trumps messy intimacy. This translates very well to creating honest reviews, which simply puts the information out there and empowers others to make up their own mind.

The best part about this approach is that we can continue to make humorous alliterations that any visitor can relate to. Appealing to different audiences is a practice that many successful entertainers have embraced, and anyone wishing to connect with their audience can learn a thing or two from them.

In closing, I will say this: I am here to stay. I am what I am, and I will not apologize for it. Lumpz Media aims to be a funny, relatable, and trustworthy resource absolutely any gamer can appreciate, period. In the vast sea of vitriol and frustration known as video game journalism, consider us your nerdy, uplifting friend who’s always ready with a quip and a smile.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for everything.



Lumpz the Clown, CEO of Lumpz Media


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