Clowny News 12/31/15


Wrapping up 2015

Heya, folks! Lumpz the Clown here, and I’d be lying if I said that 2015 was a dull year! There’s been some shuffling, shifting, victories, defeats and outright fuckery at times, both online and in real life. But hey, that shit happens and at the end of the day, Lumpz the Clown Entertainment is STILL GOING STRONG, and it’s all thanks to you folks!

My first Clowny News entry of 2015 discussed what I had done and what was coming up, and instead of crying about what I didn’t get everything done that I wanted in 2015, let’s talk about the amazing shit that DID happen!

Red Swayze Challenge


A community-wide challenge originally issued by my good buddy and fellow Retroholic, JD McFly of TRUEandHONEST, that QUICKLY ballooned into an Internet sensation! How big? At last count, JD’s Red Swayze playlist is up to TWENTY-ONE FUCKING VIDEOS with about 18 retrogamers throwing their hat in the ring!

The whole list of challengers and there respective channels can be found here, but what absolutely blew me away is its simple concept:

  • take a readily available game that almost anyone would have in their collection.
  • add a unique limitation to make it interesting.

This simple yet effective approach spawned multiple other challenges throughout the year, such as the Batman: Fists of Fury Challenge as issued by Emmitt Despain of ROM with a View, another fellow Retroholic! I even met the guy once and he’s every bit the damn giant I thought he’d be! How much so? Excuse me while I whip this out…


I’m not a midget; this guy’s just GINORMOUS!

That’s right, world, TREMBLE IN FEAR! The Retroholics Anonymous are MOBILE and now meeting IN REAL LIFE! It was an absolute pleasure meeting Emmitt and I can’t wait to do it again in the very near future! Not ONLY did we go video game hunting (he shows off his scores here), but I also showed him and his how we do burgers in the 208!

So who are these assholes who call themselves the Retroholics? Well…

Retroholics Anonymous


There I was, totally lazing in front of my computer in my drawers, beer in hand. All of a sudden, I get a Twitter DM notification that snapped me out of whatever overworked stupor I happened to be in at that moment. It’s from my good buddy Exit of FoundGaming, who had this CRAZY idea for a bi-weekly podcast where talk about, you guessed it, FUCKIN’ VIDEO GAMES! I don’t know about you, but I’m starting to pick up on an overarching theme here…


“I believe they call themselves ‘gamers’, sir…”

“…Good God Almighty…”

Our first podcast served as our introductory episode where we all talked about our journeys and respective projects. Our first episode went live on Twitch August 19th, 2015, and can be viewed below.

And that’s one great thing about Retroholics Anonymous: you don’t have to show up for the livecast to be a part of the action! All videos eventually go up on our YouTube channel and I believe that there’s even audio formats floating around out there as well! iTunes and Soundcloud seem highly suspect… 😉

We also alternate hosts for every podcast, which tends to lead to unexpected results, like that time where everyone else dressed up besides me! I’m super stoked to be a part of this amazing group and here’s to many more, folks! #Salute

Summer Brutality 2015

Summer Brutality 2015 with Lumpz the Clown

Mere mortal words cannot accurately describe the soul-shredding devastation that was Summer Brutality 2015! Not ONLY was I playing some of the most ridiculously challenging and diabolical video games ever spawned, but I also dealt with:

  • technical difficulties.
  • record-breaking high temperatures.
  • a divorce (still pending).

So yeah…pepper difficult video game play with the above-stated problems and you have a volatile cocktail that would bring a mere amateur to their knees, and not in a fun way either! But you know what got me through it? YOU EXCELLENT FOLKS!

Peep the insanity in its entirety below!

In fact, I had so much fun that I’ll be continuing Summer Brutality in 2016! Keep an eye on my Twitter for dates, times and of course, the dreaded game list to drop sometime in June 2016!

Awesome Indie Devs

Looking back, 2015 was also an AMAZING year for working with some of the most talented indie developers to grace the planet! Locomalito, 2Awesome Studio, Joe Chang, Black Shell Games, you name it! Peep the amazingness below!


2Awesome Studio (Dimension Drive)

Joe Chang (Phantasmal)

Black Shell Games (Overture)

All of these developers were cool enough to either give me early access, kick me down a free copy or simply do what they do best, and I can’t thank them enough! Be sure to check my channel for future revisits, as these guys have been cranking out updates since I last featured them!

Keep it up, folks! You’re all amazing!

Poetry Corner

One of my favorite series that I plan on continuing indefinitely is none other than Poetry Corner! The idea is simple: put up free Steam key(s) as bounty and ask the always awesome gaming community to send in their best poetic works!

In the first episode, I asked for retrogaming haikus, and what did we get? Only some of the most hilarious and amazing shit I’ve ever HEARD!

Winners were sent a free Steam key for Phantasmal, courtesy of the awesome and aforementioned Joe Chang! Thanks, Joe, and everyone who participated!

Keeping the spirit alive, I made the call out again about a month ago! The result?

This time around, one winner got a free Steam key for Insanity’s Blade, a 2-D sidescroller in the vein of Black Tiger and Castlevania! Check it out if you haven’t already, it’s fuckin’ EPIC!

Metroid II: Return of Samus – Red Edition

Drawing inspiration from Nintendo’s ill-fated Virtual Boy and with the help of my trusty Super Gameboy, I decide to play an iconic classic in a totally different way! I had attempted to stream this live, but wasn’t able to due to technical difficulties.

However, I was able to capture the action offline and release it in parts for your entertainment/punishment!

Metroid II: Return of Samus (sort of…)

Take Another Look

2015 also marked the birth of a new thought series: Take Another Look, where I dissect the potential hidden meanings behind some of the most iconic games in history, namely…

Jaws (NES)


Metroid (NES)

Honestly, I can’t WAIT to work on future episodes, as this is literally what I do with my spare time! Pull out your tinfoil hats, folks, and strap up! 🙂

Halloween Stream 2015

Oh man! I was totally looking forward to unleashing this one! The livestream went down October 30th, 2015 on my Twitch channel, and the resulting scenarios/highlights went up over on my YouTube channel as witness to this imperfect, yet oddly interesting game! Which one? Well…

Oh yeah! Clock Tower II: The Struggle Within is a game that not many of my buddies knew about, so I felt it was my duty to show them exactly what it’s all about! Love or hate its imperfect gameplay, Clock Tower II and I simply have too much history between us to ignore and now, it’s all over the Interwebz for you to enjoy! Grab some popcorn and hit Play above for some point & click epicness!

Fuck Black Friday Stream 2015

Showing my complete disdain for rampant greed and consumerism, I stayed in and played two awesome games front to back! Not even bothering to chop these up into a multi-part series, I stuck through both, only stopping for naps and food! Both have been on my YouTube bucket list for awhile and can be viewed in their entirety below!

Resident Evil: Director’s Cut (PS1)

Silent Hill 3 (PS2)

Expect this trend to continue on in 2016, because although I live by a mall, I…fucking…HATE…Black…fucking…bitchass…FRIDAY! *mic drop 🙂

So What’s Next?

Though there isn’t any official timeline for future content yet, know this: it’ll be AMAZING! Content that I was hoping to have completed a month ago has been derailed due to multiple life curveballs, which included a divorce and horrific car trouble.

Instead of crying about it, I’m hiking up my big clown pants and taking it head on so that I can dedicate myself fully to content creation once again. I’ve been lurking in random livestreams and sniping in shoots/editing where I can, along with announced and unannounced livestreams of my own, and this is what you can expect in 2016:

  • More thought pieces like my comparison of Sneak King and Manhunt.
  • SHMUP challenge runs, featuring Hydorah, Gradius, Super Nova & more!
  • Original/Remastered comparison/reviews.

I’ve admittedly been a little quiet on social media lately folks, but know that I’m doing alright and that 2016 will be an AMAZING year for Lumpz the Clown Entertainment. I can’t thank you all enough for the love and support over the years and I wish you all the best for 2016 and beyond!

Lumpz the Clown OUT!

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