Clowny News 5/17/15


Greetings, folks! Lumpz the Clown here, ready to let you know what’s been and what will be going down here at Lumpz the Clown Entertainment! Been a minute since I’ve provided you good folks with an update, so what better time than now? Projects posted, games played, beer in hand…let’s do this thing!

NES Haiku & Poetry Contest

First and foremost, I began a writing contest back on April 30th, where I asked the retrogaming community at large for NES-themed haikus. Needless to say, the rules went through multiple metamorphoses as its vision became more clear. The bounty for the best three submissions were Steam keys for Phantasmal: City of Darkness. Regardless of who won these keys, I greatly appreciate ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE who participated in this project, and it wouldn’t have been possible without you! 

The result?

Eat your heart out, Steinbeck!

Be sure to check out the video description for links to all of these amazing folks from the retrogaming community! They’re all amazing and carry the Lumpz’ Stamp of Approval, whether they want it or not! Thanks again to all who have participated! You have my eternal gratitude! 🙂

If you haven’t checked out Phantasmal: City of Darkness yet, I recommend peeping my review of it here! Even the developer, Joe Chang, gave the video mad props in the comments, and I can’t thank him enough for making my review and indeed this whole contest possible!

This unbridled community collaboration brings a tear to my clowny eye…Oh wait! There’s more!

Metroid II: Red Edition Begins

Ah, yes! The much-hyped and anticipated stream that NEVER HAPPENED! After a little (alright, BIG) meltdown over countless network dropouts, I decided that I wasn’t going to let the BIG, BAD INTERNET tell me when I could shoot! Taking the action offline, I recorded Metroid II: Red Edition in its entirety, and have FINALLY gotten around to uploading it!

This will be an ongoing series until the Queen Metroid is maggot fodder, and new episodes will be released every Friday until that scaly bitch is DEAD! The baby Metroid needs saving, lest Samus not survive the events of Super Metroid! The entire playlist can be viewed below!

Remind you of something else? (Hack) VIRTUAL BOY! (Hack)

I called upon the almighty powers of my Super Gameboy to make this possible, and perhaps it will inspire some of you to play ultra-familiar games in a new way! I’m GUARANTEED to get lost on this one, even though I’ve beaten it countless times! What else? Oh yeah!

Batman: Fists of Fury Challenge

This was an AWESOME challenge to participate in! Originally issued by Emmitron over at ROM with a View, I was called out by the mighty BenevolentDickNes to give this challenge a try! The only problem? It’s been over 10 years since I’ve last played Batman for the NES! So how did I do? See Exhibit A!

Exhibit A

This challenge has formally been issued to the entire retrogaming community, but as for my end, I have called out JD McFly of the TrueNHonest, JRock the GameRocker, and Adam of ReplayAbility! If you think you have what it takes, peep Emmitron’s original challenge below!

Bring yo A-game, sucka!

I love how we can all come together like this sometimes, and I encourage the entire community to get involved! It’s a great way to mix it up with some of the most passionate and competitive retrogamers out there, and the best part is, we’re 99.7% douchebag-free! 🙂 Moving on!

Dimension Drive Kickstarter



I haven’t been really vocal about this one, as it has been extensively covered by numerous other outlets, but I’ll say my piece here. I truly feel for David, Alejandro and team over at 2Awesome Studio for falling victim to a funding troll who posted a fraudulent payment in the last hours of their campaign. I was heartbroken when I got the news, as I’ve worked closely with these guys since I was first introduced to them last November.

Since that time, I learned of their hopes, dreams and aspirations, and I made it my personal mission to help spread the word on their awesome indie SHMUP, Dimension Drive. But why, exactly? Money? Fame? HELL NO! Because when I talked to David, I could feel his passion for Dimension Drive in every email that passed between us.

Between the version I played last November to the latest one, I could tell that this was someone’s well-loved and nourished baby, and that the gaming community at large could only benefit from its release.

But instead of giving this troll the hate he/she so desperately seeks (hey, it’s attention, right?), I am pleased to state that 2Awesome Studio is planning to relaunch their Kickstarter campaign Monday, May 18th! That’s right, trolls! You WILL NOT win!

These guys have a legion behind their backs, and I’m right there with them, ready to fuck shit up, because I believe within the depths of my soul that this WILL HAPPEN! One only has to watch the trailer to see what I’m talking about! SHMUP AMAZEMENT!


I’m pulling for you, 2Awesome Studio, with everything I have, along with the thousands of others out there who believe in your vision, as well. Your determination will see you through! And if there’s absolutely anything I can do, you have my email! Keep going! 🙂


Gaming Rebellion & Me


Given my recent undertakings with site improvement, future screenwriting ventures and strict creation schedule, I have stepped down as the Community Manager for Gaming Rebellion.

Whenever a significant admin shift occurs at a prominent site, people tend to assume the worst. I hate to disappoint the doom mongers out there who may read this (not really), but that’s not the case here.

I have met some of the most interesting, funny and smart individuals of our community through Gaming Rebellion, and I wouldn’t sacrifice those friendships for anything. My former fellow admins, regular contributors and Community members are all very important to me, and I would be doing them a huge disservice by not giving them 100% of my attention.

In the end, I had to go with my heart and stepped down voluntarily. It was not an easy decision to make at all, but it basically boils down to me wanting to leave this Earth with ZERO REGRETS! 

I intend to do every stupid, crazy thing that I concoct in this mortal coil, but that would come at the expense of not giving Gaming Rebellion’s awesome Community 100% of my time, which I could not do in good conscience.

I still plan on contributing when I can, so stay tuned for new content as it rolls out!

I’ve learned so much during my time with Gaming Rebellion, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I wish them all the best going forward. Thanks for the memories, guys, and let’s make some new ones! 🙂

Future Projects

silent hill 3

So what’s gonna happen now? Well, for starters, I truly enjoyed shooting the haiku video, and as a result, I will continue to roll out random writing competitions where I will recite the first 10 or so submissions I receive, complete with linkage in the video description! These videos are a great way for all of us to interact, plus it gives the community something new to watch! I’ll be making announcements via Twitter and Facebook when the time comes, so stay tuned!

Given how busy I’ve been these last 2 weeks, I haven’t had the chance to begin shooting my Silent Hill 3 LP yet. I want to do a few test runs before I start though, as 3+ years of being absent has made me insanely rusty! Plus, I want it to look pretty, so there’s that, too! Needless to say that I’ll be leaving Photoshop bloody and beaten by the time I’m done with it!

Beyond that, I have no idea. This has been a big-ass update, so I’ll leave it here. I thank you folks for all that you do to make this community amazing, and I look forward to the future! #Salute Lumpz the Clown OUT!